Showing posts from April, 2017

Greatest Joys and Greatest Fears

Life has been a little tough for me to sort through lately. One minute I'm happy, the next I am crying my eyes out.
As my first born hits three, I am filled with so much excitement for him. He is learning so many new things every day, and he will start to be allowed to participate in more things now that he is three. He is counting down the days until he starts hockey! It's challenging at times, but most days with Eli are filled with laughter and hope for all of his possibilities.
As my baby approaches one, I am nearly paralyzed with fear. I see how quickly we got to one year old. I blinked, and we are here. All of those problems that I know are coming for Henry seemed so far off. Now, we they seem on the horizon. Problems like not hitting his gross motor or speech milestones. Problems like surgeries and procedures. Problems like putting him on a bus, sending him to school, and trusting that the people there are taking care of him, knowing that he won't have the words to…

Dear Doctor -- Part One

Dear Doctor,      I have a terrible memory. I forget things easily. I do not, however, forget you. If I heard your voice in the middle of a million other voices, I could pick it out. Yours was the voice that broke --no, shattered -- my heart.
    I didn't know you. You weren't our usual pediatrician, just the one on duty the morning after we welcomed Henry just before midnight the day before. You were young, with a sweet face. The nurses told me you would be coming to "discuss things further". We waited for you to arrive, and I hoped you had some good news. You knocked on the hospital room door and entered. The same hospital room we visited on our tour when I was pregnant. I almost puked on the way home from our hospital tour, I was so scared to go through childbirth again. Little did I know how much my life would change in that very room a few months later. Childbirth would have been the least of my worries. 
    You weren't the first to mention to me the wor…

The Day I Called Dibs on a Person

I lived in a condo with two other girls my graduate year of college. 
As luck would have it, there were three guys from Quinnipiac in the unit next to us. We never really saw these mysterious neighbors of ours. I didn't care about it too much, though. I had it in my mind that I was moving to Colorado in a few months. I had put up a proverbial wall, and I was not looking for a relationship of any kind. I was counting down the days until I was out of Connecticut. I hated Connecticut. I hated love. I wanted out.
Until one September night.
My roommates and a couple friends decided to go out to a bar. We had a few drinks in our basement. It was college, afterall. Someone suggested inviting the guys from next door, so we decided to do it. Two of them ended up coming over, and told us that the other roommate was asleep. My roommate and I decided it would be a wonderful idea to wake him up. Ah, alcohol.
Off we went to his bedroom, banging on the door, screaming his name. "TIM! CO…

Five Books About Down Syndrome You Should Read

I have somehow carved out the time between diaper changes, work, bottle feeds and preschool drop offs to read several books about Down syndrome since Henry's arrival. Each one helped me in a different way, and I am hopeful that sharing these books will also be helpful for others who may be looking to squeeze some reading in to their busy days!
1. Faces of Hope by Christine K. Wilson
    This book was quite literally just what I needed, when I needed it. Brimming with positivity and showcasing the wonder of Down syndrome, it's the perfect read for anyone who is struggling with accepting the diagnosis or envisioning the future. It was incredibly uplifting for me to look through this book while I was overcoming the initial shock of our diagnosis.

2. The Lucky Few by Heather Avis
     A beautiful memoir of the Avis family, who adopted three children, two of which have Down syndrome. Heather Avis's candid recollection of Down syndrome and it's effect on their lives makes f…