You Can't Pour From An Empty Cup

Being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had. I have struggled with juggling it all -- my career, finding child care, doing the laundry, cleaning floors, grocery shopping, cooking, paying bills, lighting candles and spraying Febreze so my house doesn't smell like cat -- and raising two tiny humans on top of that. You know, humans who need food and drinks and baths and pull every single toy out while you try to take a four minute shower. One of my tiny humans happens to have multiple appointments per week that I am in charge of coordinating and getting us all to. Usually conveniently right around nap time.

You get the idea. You know what I'm saying because this is probably your reality, too. Even if you are one of the lucky ones with a very supportive partner, it can still be completely and totally overwhelming.

You give 110% of everything you have to everyone around you -- to your kids, to your partner, to your colleagues -- and there's never much left for you. Maybe at the end of the night you can sneak 25 minutes of Netflix before you stumble in to bed and count the potential hours of sleep you can get before the baby wakes up for the first time. The thought of doing something nice for yourself is #104 on your list of things to do before your child comes stumbling in to your room to wake you up for the day at 5 a.m.

I'm going to tell you what a very wise woman told me.

You can't pour from an empty cup.

You do not need to feel guilty about doing something for yourself. In fact, think of it as making yourself a better parent and partner by taking care of yourself.

When your cup is full, and you are feeling taken care of, you can give of yourself what you need and want to those around you.
It doesn't have to be something big. For me, it's usually a glass of wine or an episode of Born This Way on the couch.

Should I be loading the dishwasher?

Should I be cleaning up the toys so that I can actually see my living room floor?

Should I be switching that laundry from the washer to the dryer?
Most definitely.

But instead, I am choosing to do something to fill my own cup, so I can start pouring again in the morning.

So take care of yourself, mama. And don't feel the least bit guilty about it.


  1. There's a reason they say to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else. Because you can't help someone else if you're suffering.

    Self care is so important. And I would think that having a happy, healthy - physically and mentally - mom is the best thing you can do for your little ones.


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